Obituary

Chicken Tenders, aka Spike Elvis Tenders Arthur the Third passed away in an unfortunate turn of events on Wednesday, March 17, 2010. (Fortunately while I just happened to be taking a nap.)

Tenders hatched sometime in April of 2009, and soon after became adopted by the Arthur family. As a chick, he was cute, fuzzy and loveable. As a young cockerel, he was loyal, and friendly. As the alpha male, he was mean. He first started his vicious cycle on children, then moved on to anyone wearing black shoes. In his last days of life, he attacked anyone that came near him.

He is preceded in death by his sister, Alfredo, brothers, Teriyaki, Parmesan, Fettuccini, Pot Pie, and Noodle Soup. He is survived by sisters/mates, Nugget, Patty, Annie, Goldilocks and Cordon Bleu. He will be dearly missed by Hannah, and only slightly missed by Isaac and Aaron. The rest of us are glad he’s gone, and can finally go outside without returning for bandaids. Sarah cheered her dad on and asked if we could eat him for dinner.

He was laid to rest later on that afternoon in a white casket (aka garbage bag) in an undisclosed open grave. In lieu of flowers, the family would like donations made to the psychiatrist that will need to treat my children who are now traumatized from watching his death.